I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
