How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just had sex on a roof
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
