Someone shit on the floor
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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