Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
