I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I want to make a zoo with you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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