Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
