I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I smell stomach acid.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
