The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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