Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
