Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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