haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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