is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
