He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
