But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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