and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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