do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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