I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
