Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
