I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
