Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
