You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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