She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
