yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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