This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
