u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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