ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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