I hate all girls vehemently.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need a beard to bite.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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