Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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