So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
