idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
