i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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