I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
