Apparently you make a good broom.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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