so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am spending my child support on dildos
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
