Screwed.edu
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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