i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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