Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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