Define "chronic" masturbator.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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