You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
