i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Panties = found
Randomize
