When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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