I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
