When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
this is an emotional support booty call
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
