Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
