THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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