I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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