I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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