those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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