HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
