I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
