what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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