you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
MIDGETS
????
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
